75 thoughts while watching Hillary's speech "attacking Donald"

So Hillary just gave a yuuuuuge foreign policy address in San Diego and by yuuuuuge I mean, it’s all the news has been covering for the past 24 hours. In this speech she was predicted to attack Donald big time, which means someone on her campaign staff called the news outlets and said, “hey, pay attention to Hillary today because she’s going to attack Donald Trump and it’s going to be yuuuuuuge.”

Let’s be real, between Donald and Bernie OWNING the news, it’s the only way Hilldawg can get any attention these days. So we watched and, here were our thoughts during the “huuuuge” speech.

1. How many flags are in the background? 17 flags.
2. This music makes me feel like I’m at Disneyland. I’m not at Disneyland.
3. It’s a patriotic Disneyland, I guess.
4. How many times have they played the Stars and Stripes Forever song in a row? Like 5?
5. Maybe more, idk anymore.
6. I feel bad for everyone in the room listening to this on repeat while awaiting her arrival holy shit.
7. Of course “the Queen” is late… naturally.
8. Spongebob voice *2 HOURS LATER*
9. JK it was only 10 minutes but still. I got places to be, Hilldawg.
10. Don't tell people you're going to give a massive speech at 2:30 EST and then not show up on time. RUDE.
11. So apparently this is one of 30 campaign stops in 5 days.
12. Maybe she’s napping. I would be napping.
13. Someone walked across the stage and I got excited, but he kept walking.
14. Omg someone is at the podium. DID SHE REALLY JUST WALK AWAY.

15. Who just did the zoom out job on the livestream?
16. Was it so I could see all 20 old white people there?

17. Totally the opposite of a Trump rally, everyone’s sitting in chairs politely HAHA.
18. 18 thoughts and 30 minutes later, still no Hillary.
19. 10/10 Hillary is just killing enough time to get everyone disinterested and turn off the TV because her speech is actually terrible and she knows it.
20. JESUS HILLARY, OBAMA DOESN’T EVEN TAKE THIS LONG.
21. Finally, Ellen is here to introduce her highness to America’s Finest City (at least she’s got one thing right).
22. BOUT TIME HIlLARY IS ON THE STAGE.

23. Hillary is wearing a necklace and orange shirt and a black blazer.
24. She looks good in orange, maybe she should get a jumpsuit to match.
25. Hillary just said that her v. Donald is the choice between a fearful America that is less engaged and a strong confident America that leads - lol ok.
26. “I’m going to keep America’s security at the heart of my campaign.”
27. Like you did with Benghazi, right?
28. “They’re not even really ideas just a series of rants.”
29. True tho, that’s not new.
30. “He needs to go to anger management classes because if he’s President he’s going to just use all the nuclear codes without it.”
31. “He believes we can treat the U.S. economy like his casinos and default on our debts to the world.”

32. How many jobs have you created Mrs. Clinton? Probably more than Sanders, but still.
33. “Running the Miss Universe Pageant in Russia is his foreign policy experience.”
34. Now she’s listing all of her great non-existent accomplishments.
35. Someone hand me the remote so I can mute this.
36. OMG she had the nerve to bring up the LGBT issue.
37. Bitch, you’ve supported gay marriage for 5 minutes. Sit your ass down.
38. Is this stuff in the emails on your private server?
39. “We are still, in Lincoln’s words, the last best hope of earth.”
40. Yeah, not with you as President homie.
41. Also, stop trying to quote Republicans. You don’t even go here.
42. You both disagree on being safe and growing the economy?
43. “His economic plans would add 30 trillion dollars to our national debt.”
44. I’d like to see those figures. You’re kinda known for fabricating the truth.
45. TBT to when you wiped your server “with a cloth or something.”
46. “When I was Secretary of State…” that’s all you have to go off of and you didn’t even finish your damn term!
47. “We’re lucky to have two friendly neighbors on our land borders. Why would you want to make one of them angry?”
48. Because one of them has tens of millions of people here illegally. Just a thought.
49. I consider Canada to be the friendly one. Almost too friendly, do they even do anything, eh?
50. “When President Obama, Iran was racing toward a nuclear bomb.”
51. Yeah for the Nuclear Deal which is still debatable on whether or not it’s a good deal.
52. Does she write her own speeches? Because there is some comedy in there.
53. I hope Trump tweets her right now because of that comment.

54. LOL called it.
55. Honestly, I wouldn’t hate Hillary as much as I do if she didn’t act like she was above everyone.
56. *Hillary walks into the room and scans*

57. Except she's no Beyonce, let's be honest.
58. “If you don’t know exactly who you’re dealing with, men like Putin will eat your lunch.”
59. Putin would throw you in the dumpster, Hill.
60. Donald trump been estimated to create about 34,000 jobs. He lacks leadership?
61. You’re the one who left your position as Secretary of State instead of pulling through like a true leader. 
62. “The truth is, there’s not a country in the world who can rival us.”
63. I mean yes, we’re amazing. But don’t be naive. Bitches be crazy.
64. “America stands up to countries that treat women like animals.”
65. Umm when was the last time you stood up against these countries? You cut deals with them.
66. Just like Donald Trump would.
67. Is that why there’s only old white people who support you? Like in attendance at this event.
68. She’s on her “final point” (thank God).
69. She’s pretty much just used this whole speech to talk about Donald’s “temperament” and “lack of humility.”
70. Wait work actually went down in the situation room?
71. “Imagine if he had not just his Twitter button at his disposal, but America’s entire arsenal.”
72. “Someone thin-skinned and quick to anger, do we want his finger anywhere near the button?”
73. THE PRESIDENT DOESN’T DECLARE WAR, HILLARY. CONGRESS DOES.
74. “I’m going to do everything I can to protect our nation.”
75. Sound fake but ok. I’m done, you’re done, we’re all done, and this was painful. Time for a nap.

Stay Classy, Morgan and Tamara